Rambling Faggy Tranny,
Living in Utah.
My name is Dexter and I was assigned the gender "female" at birth. Since December of 2008, there's been a whole lotta social and physical transition going on up in here. Why? To help my brain and body physiologically connect. Even though my gender identity (genderqueer) hasn't changed, after a series of social pickles (like being unable to use my debit card!), I am now dude. who'dathunk.
I'm currently a college student and a McNair Scholar majoring in Neuro/Social Psychology. I intend to nab me a PhD!
Kiddle Era:
Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!
Trans Guys Disclose
There are some things about ourselves we don’t immediately reveal to other people. Meet Billy, Danny and Atari - three guys who you may be surprised to find out were born biologically female. Story produced by Monique Schafter and Ali Russell for Hungry Beast.
(Source: oscar-a-non-y-mous)
Go Buck Angels! I’m totally gonna make some.
No Shave November
Uh, something unprecedented and exciting has occurred in the land of my facial hair. I’m not sure when exactly it happened, but it did - last month I had developed what I’d argue passed as fo’ real real facial hair. It got to the point where, as I posted about prior, I could shampoo it, condition it, comb it, and trim it. Life was good. And then Halloween happened - where I had to shave it for my costume. Life was sad. But fun.
This is where the unprecedented and exciting took place:
After shaving, I looked noticeably different. My baby bare face was actually jarring to me. Now, this is unprecedented and exciting because this is the first time I’ve ever a.) grown facial hair and b.) shaved it and actually looked different because what I shaved was actually noticeable.
It’s taken me two days now to adjust to my baby bare faced self and I’m growing it back as.fast.as.I.can. I suspect that I’m going to turn into my dad who went 20+ years without shaving until doing so and horrifying everyone about a month ago. Which was also exciting and unprecedented seeing as that was the first time I’d experienced having more facial hair than my dad. Or brother. Boo-ya.
Even better - when I went back to school Monday with nothing but sparse stubble my peers were also jarred. Which, again, reaffirms how fo’ real real my facial hair had become! I received comments like, “You look so much younger!!!”, or, “Where’d your facial hair go???”, or, “All you preparing for No Shave November or what?”.
Totally my theme song. To a T.
Gym n’ Pink Nipplage
SO REFRESHING. After top surgery, recovery, and then a conveniently timed month-long coughing sickness, today I went to the gym with the most bad ass gym buddy ever - my mom. Back in the good ol’ days, my mom and I went to the gym together on a daily basis. Until I started the hormone shindig and the locker room progressively got a lot more uncomfortable than it already was. Eventually it got to the point where I no longer knew how to navigate gendered gym terrain and resolved to work out from home.
Which I did, for a minute. But with cats purring and video games within my reach, that didn’t last long.
Until today when my mom and I finally ventured to the gym again together. My first boob-less gym work out!
It was awesome.
I hopped on the elliptical and sweat simulated jogged for 30 minutes. No chest fat jigglage! Back in the day just feeling it there caused a lot of physiological distress that had me hating running-like motion. But now? Love it. I could’ve continued to run, but I couldn’t resist skipping off to experience other gym thangs - including the men’s locker room.
Since I was a wee bot until I stopped going to the gym a few years ago, locker rooms were all kinds of awkward. My mom went with me before primarily to help with this, so she could walk in with me and help make the experience less socially awkward. But, this was also the first time I walked in to a locker room without startled reactions. No one called security, no one stood up and darted out when I entered… nothin’. Just, walked in, did my thing, walked out.
Whoa.
On a related note, recovery has been going super well! Between classes (particularly stats - the most intimidating phobia triggering topic *coughmathcough* that I’ve avoided for about 13 years) and being sick, I’ve been negligent about updating my progress. Essentially, this past month has been my nipples morphing from little blackish mutants into pinkish little nipply nubs. Now that they’re scab-free and becoming more nipply with each new day, I slather them in a Vitamin E / Shea Butter concoction. They’re so cool. Pictures soon!
So honestly, throwing up a photo like this is unprecedented for me. In fact, back in my “before times”, I’d poke fun at people who threw up “ooo look how cute I am.” photos. I was all about the modesty. But now? Uh, yeah, alright, modesty is still awesome and all - but, from now on, it’s not for me. Guess who doesn’t have to wear a binder ever again and feels super cute 4 the 1st time eva? Me!
Already I’m losing precious study time having so much fun exhausting myself romping about in the world. I feel absolutely ecstatic and the most comfortable I’ve ever experienced. I can look at myself in the mirror. I can look down at my bare chest. I can even take a photo like this and throw it up on my blog.
I never knew it was possible to feel this awesometastic !!!
Ouch! I didn’t notice this until earlier today when I removed the compression vest to finally get cleaned up - but I have lacerations on both sides from wearing the vest for 6 days. Why I didn’t feel these, I don’t know. Pain killers initially - but I stopped taking them Tuesday. High pain tolerance? I dunno! But what the frak.
The moral of this story? Leaving my vest on for 6 days was entirely worth these lacerations, which require less help healing than my chest and nipple grafts.
My compression vest has been washed and is now hanging up to dry while I relax in the front room with my mom. Topless. Lacerations, bruising, swelling, stitches, and nipple grafts gots NOTHIN’ on how absolutely comfortable and relieving this feels. I still can’t believe that this has happened. The reality is setting in little by little and I love it.
My mom put some Neosporin and bandages on the lacerations. We also removed the bandages from the drain tube wounds since they had stopped leaking. For cleansing, I decided not to shower since I’m super paranoid about babying my nipple grafts so the tissue doesn’t die. Instead, my mom helped me wash my hair - and then I took a quick bath for everything else. My nipple bandages remained entirely dry and I won’t remove and re-bandage them just yet.
Drains & Bandages Be Gone!
Earlier today I bravely ventured forth into the world twice. First in the morning with my dad for coffee nearby. Then all inspired and confident in my outdoor adventuring abilities, downtown for vegan hot dogs with Andrew and Aaron! I had envisioned a grand 2 hour adventure of sitting and chatting - but, in reality, I made it 45 minutes before whimpering for Andrew to drive me home so I could nap.
But more exciting than those 45 minutes? Tomorrow I get these pesky drain tubes and bandages removed! Can’t wait!
Photo Surprise!
My father just spontaneously transferred some photos from a USB stick of his on to my netbook. Photos from Thursday and Friday - none of which I remember. Well, except for this first one.
This one I remember. Pre-Op, in the waiting room with my parents. Getting poked with my first intravenous drip ever was the scariest part. The first attempt in my hand didn’t work out, due to some valve don’t-wanna situation going on. Fortunately, Nurse Arlene was super distracting and comforting as she poked me in my left arm instead.
I do not remember this one. At all. First Post-op Picture EVER! Where’d ma boobies go??? My earliest memory was of Nurse Arlene (above) giving me a popcicle. And of almost vomiting on the car ride home after I’d pleaded for my father to pull over for coffee.
