Rambling Faggy Tranny,
Living in Utah.
My name is Dexter and I was assigned the gender "female" at birth. Since December of 2008, there's been a whole lotta social and physical transition going on up in here. Why? To help my brain and body physiologically connect. Even though my gender identity (genderqueer) hasn't changed, after a series of social pickles (like being unable to use my debit card!), I am now dude. who'dathunk.
I'm currently a college student and a McNair Scholar majoring in Neuro/Social Psychology. I intend to nab me a PhD!
Kiddle Era:
Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!
Tranny is Just a Word
“People used to take offense with the words “queer” and “dyke,” both of which predates the words “trannie” and “tranny.” The word “dyke” is the shorten version of the word “bulldyke,” first seen in 1920 novels. “Queer” is much older, coming from the English language in the 16th century, meaning “strange, unusual,” or “out of alignment.” These words were used to denote LGBT people for a long time, yet they have been successfully reclaimed to neutralize their emotional affect. However, they are still heard during violent acts toward LGBT people.
Many trans people are reclaiming the words “trannie” and “tranny,” and they appear to be mostly the younger people in our community. They seem to understand the need to neutralize the affect that others have in wanting to offend us. Younger LGBT people also accept “queer” and “dyke” more than older LGBT people and may actually become the ones who will successfully neutralize the “F-word.”
For me, I refuse to allow anyone to take control of my emotions by allowing them to think that the word “trannie” will offend me.”
Albert Nobbs and U.S. Stereotypes
Let’s just be honest here; Albert Nobbs was a steaming pile of rectal sludge. It had an interesting enough premise, but it was just slopped together to achieve a faux impression of an in-depth film. Epic fail.
#SPOILERS AHEAD#
The plot is set in 19th century Ireland and involves a “woman passing as a man” who works as a waiter. Each evening he hides away his meager tips and wages and carefully records his growing fortune. All the while he fantasizes about the day he’ll take a wife and purchase a little tobacco shop. He stands around - a lot. He meets another “woman passing as a man” named Mr.Page and then spends the rest of the movie trying to court a way younger pregnant maid by buying her crap, laying in bed, and more standing around. Eventually he bops his head on a wall, lays down in bed - again - and looks a bit more pale. I think that meant he was dead. But it wasn’t all that different from when he was alive - so I’m not really sure.
The problem is that the whole story was just a pile of nonsensical clichés plus boring dialogue and two dimensional (almost one dimensional) characters. In the end, what could have been a cool and moving flick turned out to be tedious and dull replay of uninformed trans and lesbian stereotypes.
The worst part? Instead of maybe casting someone who was androgynous or maybe queer or, god forbid, actually trans to play the part - they cast a famous actress, slathered her in really creepy make-up, and had her stand around like an awkward shiny wax statue.
I literally felt nothing the entire film. The only thing that moved were my bowels - which fortunately allowed me to escape for a few minutes midway through it. The character was just so empty and creepy. I couldn’t make myself care if I tried.
And really, I tried. I paid $8.60 for this.
Well, I lie. I didn’t feel anything until Albert Nobbs explained why he had become Albert Nobbs. He had been abandoned as a child and then gang raped. Afterwards, he saw a job opening for a waiter, found a suit, and got the job. And, by golly, he’s just been Albert Nobbs ever since! Oh, and now he is attracted to women, too. Why, we all know there aren’t really queer or trans people - just cisgender women who have horribly traumatic negative experiences with men!
Seriously, I’m so tired of seeing movies where someone becomes a lesbian or decides to spend their entire life living 24/7 as a dude because they were victims of childhood trauma - usually rape. 
What’s with the United States and this bullshit stereotype? Just a few weeks ago I went out to see the U.S. remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
In the Swedish version, the main character, Lisbeth Salandar, wakes up at some point with a girl in her bed. We, the audience, have no idea if this is a one-night-stand, a long-term girlfriend, a fuck buddy… or what. What we do know is that she sleeps with chicks. She’s bad ass, independent, dominates the shit out of Mikael Blomkvist, and is all hawt sexually fluid. Then, later in the film, gets raped.
In the U.S. version, different story. There’s absolutely no indication throughout the film that she’s attracted to women - until after she gets raped. Immediately afterwards she goes to a club, finds a girl, and has a one-night-stand with her. The next morning Mikael shows up with food and tells her to get rid of “the girl”, which she does. When Mikael touches her, she flinches and warns him not to touch her. Since, she, of course, now fears men and therefore, sleeps with women. Why U.S.? Whhhyyy???
Noomi Rapace - Swedish Lisbeth. Hawt. Independent. Bad azz.
Rooney Mara - U.S. Lisbeth. Is it crack, the onset of female alopecia, or heroine? I haven’t quite pegged it.
Oh, and here’s Janet McTeer playing Mr.Page in Albert Nobbs. And this is with special fx make-up. How convincing! I never saw those Double-D’s coming!
Aside from the barely redeeming factor of Mr.Page and his wife (although, I was probably just bored and desperate), Albert Nobbs is a an obnoxious mass of offensive stereotypes that isn’t memorable enough to even be forgettable. Next.
Gobama!
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has affirmed that transgender people can deduct their hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery expenses.
Led by the child who simply knew
The twin boys were identical in every way but one. Wyatt was a girl to the core, and now lives as one.
Self-Injection Phase
For almost three years now I’ve been self-injecting. The very first time my hand quivered and I literally couldn’t do it - but every injection since then? No problem. It had become such a menial automaton task that when I switched from bi-weekly injection to every week it wasn’t no thang.
But then, something happened. About a month ago.
I don’t know what the hell it was, but when I went to self-inject, I just … couldn’t do it. This was a little over a month ago. I remember feeling extremely frustrated and confused over the whole ordeal and eventually cracked and had a friend help me.
I figured that this was just a one-time anomalous incident. But no! Ever since, every Thursday, I can’t self-inject. I couldn’t even look until last week.
What the hell?
Seriously.
So this morning I wake up, determined to self-inject. I get the needle ready, cleanse the injection site with an alcohol wipe, go for the plunge and… nothing. Couldn’t do it. I felt closer this time, but still froze up. So my dad woked, poked, and it was a done deal.
But I’m so frustrated. Why would I be able to self-inject with absolutely no problem for almost three years and then bang! start freezing up? It’s bizarre to me. By next week, hopefully, this little phase will be over with. Maybe it’s just school stress or not enough strawberries in my diet or who knows the hell what. Somethun.
The Outlier
My apologies in advance for what will probably be my most boring blog post yet - but, ya know, it happens. It’s only bound to get worse.
Anyway, whenever we do in-class surveys in my Statistics class I’m always the “outlier” (illustrated in picture over this way —>). Every time for whatever reason I’m surprised; probably because I live in an oblivious bubble on planet tranny zot. More on that later.
We received the following three survey questions:
1. What is your college GPA?
2. What was your high school GPA?
3. What is your gender?
Awkward tall girls
The other day my perceived dude gender got me into trouble. So there I sat, all studious-like, in my Psychology class as my professor rambled on aboot noticeably observable gender differences in toddlers something another.
As she lectured, I reminisced about my own toddlerhood and how I can’t recall noticing any extreme physical differences until the land o’ adolescent puberty. In my case, by the time I entered junior high school, I was all kinds of tall and awkward while all of the cisgender boys were itty bitty things scurrying around. There were numerous girls who were taller than the boys, having hit puberty earlier. Knowing that this had 95.6% to do with pubertal differences, I wanted to ask about what, biologically, accounted for the much more subtle observable differences pre-puberty in toddlers.
So I raised my hand and said: “I remember junior high, when there were all of these tall awkward girls who had hit puberty before boys…” , and, suddenly, a flurry of whispers and outcry and ooo’s happened. I finished my sentence, confused about what I’d said that had caused so much offence.
Turns out, it was from a perception that I had said there’s something awkward or “wrong” about tall women. Ohmygawd! In my past life, if I’d said the exact same thing it would’ve just been a given that, “Oh, hey, she was a tall girl in junior high. That must’ve been an awkward experience at the time!”, instead of, “How dare that douche dude say tall girls are awkward!”.
Oy vey.
