Rambling Faggy Tranny,
Living in Utah.
My name is Dexter and I was assigned the gender "female" at birth. Since December of 2008, there's been a whole lotta social and physical transition going on up in here. Why? To help my brain and body physiologically connect. Even though my gender identity (genderqueer) hasn't changed, after a series of social pickles (like being unable to use my debit card!), I am now dude. who'dathunk.
I'm currently a college student and a McNair Scholar majoring in Neuro/Social Psychology. I intend to nab me a PhD!
Kiddle Era:
Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours... if you can count!
When I lay there in my pantaloons
… pondering deeply about such things like what position I’d prefer to be in if I ended up in The Human Centipede, when I will go buy more wet food for Evilbunny (my cat) and a bleach pen for the white Hanes© shirts I wear every day, getting mula for school books, and whatnot - eventually the realisation of how seriously lucky I am in the tranny department comes creeping in.
Prior to starting hormone therapy a few years ago, I had literally resolved to stop dating. Zilch, done, ~fin~. It was just, too painful and triggering. Every attempt was an incredibly potent reminder of how I was trapped in a body that felt disconnected and uncomfortable. It wasn’t worth crying every single time and spiralling into weeks of hopelessness. Without intimacy, I could bind and never look at myself in the nude. Easy peasy. Solution foreva!
But, the idea of hormones sounded almost as awful. Losing my androgyny and looking like a boring ol’ greasy cisgender dude? Eff no. Heading down a path that insurance companies and numerous doctors explicitly exclude? Uh, no. Increasing my testosterone levels that are associated with shaving years off one’s life, increasing cancer risk, liver damage, increased cholesterol, acne, etc.? No, no, and no.
Gym n’ Pink Nipplage
SO REFRESHING. After top surgery, recovery, and then a conveniently timed month-long coughing sickness, today I went to the gym with the most bad ass gym buddy ever - my mom. Back in the good ol’ days, my mom and I went to the gym together on a daily basis. Until I started the hormone shindig and the locker room progressively got a lot more uncomfortable than it already was. Eventually it got to the point where I no longer knew how to navigate gendered gym terrain and resolved to work out from home.
Which I did, for a minute. But with cats purring and video games within my reach, that didn’t last long.
Until today when my mom and I finally ventured to the gym again together. My first boob-less gym work out!
It was awesome.
I hopped on the elliptical and sweat simulated jogged for 30 minutes. No chest fat jigglage! Back in the day just feeling it there caused a lot of physiological distress that had me hating running-like motion. But now? Love it. I could’ve continued to run, but I couldn’t resist skipping off to experience other gym thangs - including the men’s locker room.
Since I was a wee bot until I stopped going to the gym a few years ago, locker rooms were all kinds of awkward. My mom went with me before primarily to help with this, so she could walk in with me and help make the experience less socially awkward. But, this was also the first time I walked in to a locker room without startled reactions. No one called security, no one stood up and darted out when I entered… nothin’. Just, walked in, did my thing, walked out.
Whoa.
On a related note, recovery has been going super well! Between classes (particularly stats - the most intimidating phobia triggering topic *coughmathcough* that I’ve avoided for about 13 years) and being sick, I’ve been negligent about updating my progress. Essentially, this past month has been my nipples morphing from little blackish mutants into pinkish little nipply nubs. Now that they’re scab-free and becoming more nipply with each new day, I slather them in a Vitamin E / Shea Butter concoction. They’re so cool. Pictures soon!
PART 2: Double Incision Mastectomy with Nipple Grafts by Dr. Cori Agarwal Surgery Photos (EXTREMELY GRAPHIC)
Earlier today I learned that Dr. Cori Agarwal’s medical secretary, Haley, was able to come in and take photographs during my 3 hour surgery on August 11, 2011. I had asked her to 6 months ago and, fortunately, Dr. Agarwal also wanted her to come observe this type of surgery. Double-win!
As a warning, these photos are extremely graphic, but also incredibly informative and educational. This is why I’m displaying them after the “read more” button below instead of as a photo gallery. Proceed with caution!
PART 1: Double Incision Mastectomy with Nipple Grafts by Dr. Cori Agarwal Surgery Photos (EXTREMELY GRAPHIC)
Earlier today I learned that Dr. Cori Agarwal’s medical secretary, Haley, was able to come in and take photographs during my 3 hour surgery on August 11, 2011. I had asked her to 6 months ago and, fortunately, Dr. Agarwal also wanted her to come observe this type of surgery. Double-win!
As a warning, these photos are extremely graphic, but also incredibly informative and educational. This is why I’m displaying them after the “read more” button below instead of as a photo gallery. Proceed with caution!
