The Bane of Shopping - well, until surgery happened.

Shopping for clothing has never been my top #1 favorite activity of all time in the universe. For as long as I can recall, it’s been an agonizing, everything-fits-funny pain in the schlum. Out of a gazillion + 2 shirts and pants, I’d be lucky to find something that fit right. Either the shirts were too straight or too stretched out or not long enough or - this has been the story for forever and beyond.

Until last Saturday.

Since I had top surgery last August, I haven’t shopped for new clothes. Er, I lie. I have. For multipacks of Hanes t-shirts and underoo’s. But those don’t count.

For months now my dad has been whimpering about having no clothes. And I’ve been wearing the same ol’ white Hanes shirt and shorts combo every single day.

Which is great if you’re Pee Wee Herman, Einstein, or Seth Brundle from The Fly, but. Despite the convenience of only having multiple pairs of one outfit, I finally cracked last Saturday and decided to dupe my father into going on a trip to the new thrift store that just opened up down the street with me.

I anticipated wearily wandering in, checking out a few things, trying some stuff on, having nothing fit proper, getting bored, checking out the VHS section for any horror movies and the women’s section for Christmas sweaters, not finding any, and leaving after about 15 minutes.

But, that’s not how it panned out at all. I grabbed all kinds of crap - see-through shirts, tank tops, sweaters, shorts, jackets, a child’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer tie. I spent almost 30 minutes trying everything on.

And almost every shirt I tried fit! And the shorts! And everything looked mega dapper!

My dad and I took turns outside the dressing room, handing clothes back and forth over the door. While I was in there, rapidly throwing shirts on and off, I could hear my dad bantering with a female employee. He said something snide about the quantity of clothing I had been trying on, to which she replied, “I’ve never seen a guy spend so much time in the dressing room!”

The lesson here? Post surgery rocks. And so do see through jersey shirt things.

1 comment:

  1. Reading a post with hilarious species pic is such an amazing thing. lol, i shop hanes clothing for winter, sweatshirts, tops, sweatpants and socks. All is good:)


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