Earlier today I made a very exciting phone call.

Wait for it...

wait for it...

... for a consultation with the top surgeon here in Utah.


I learned about her through word-of-mouth at the Trans Action conference in November from other guys showing off their chests and rambling on about how great she is. I've been giddy and prepping for it ever since.

During the consultation I want to a.) get a quote on how much my surgery will cost and b.) figure out payment options. I have around $2,000 so far (90% of this from donations - thank you everyone!) to use as a down payment, if possible. If not, I will at least have a (presumably) much smaller amount to continue saving up towards than the initial fly-to-Florida for a $5500 surgery + figuring out a place to stay & food for a week, plane ticket costs, covering the costs for a friend to come play care-taker, etc., plan. Having a surgeon located so close makes the whole thing much more attainable. If I'm lucky I'll be able to have my top surgery done over Spring Break. Or maybe over the Summer. Sooner than later, that's for sure.

I can't help fantasize about life post-op. First thing I'll do when I'm healed? Run to the school gym and swim laps. I haven't gone swimming for years - initially because it was just, uncomfortable and impossible to find a swimming suit situation that would work; but then, especially post-hormone therapy, due to how confining binding is for something that requires so much movement and, without binding, how awkward and unsafe it would feel.

I fantasize about bicycling all over the place with my chest liberated, as my body sweats like crazy for blissful cool down. I can't wait to go to the gym every day and just, lift weights with my unbinded chest and rinse off in the locker room without fear. I can't wait to try dating again and, really... to work on repairing the toll a "disconnected puberty" has taken on my self-esteem. Getting closer, one step at a time.

And in regards to the donations that have been sent my way thus far, I really have no words. It's astounding to me and incredibly appreciated that you have all done so much to help get me closer to making this surgery happen. Aside from the economic help, I'm touched by how sweet and thoughtful everyone has been. How incredibly supportive, understanding, and, above all, just... knowing that I'm not alone in this - that, despite societal hurdles, in reality I have friends and incredible people all around me, always, every step of the way. And, even more adorable, how genuinely empathetic and altruistic all of you are. That, despite having your own goals, aspirations, and problems, you still take the time to read my blog and to extend whatever you can to communicate that support; whether it's through all of your sweet little comments, donating to my surgery, or by just reading about my experience and being one of those people in the world who, ya know, rock.

Thank you.


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