School!

Approximately 3 years ago while pursuing my prestigious edjamacation and plucking along with a 4.0 GPA, I was slapped sideways in the face by deep economic terror. Like most students in the United States, I'd been taking out thousands of dollars in loans to gain access to school. But, once the terror of a future filled with loans consumed me alongside having an actual salary job for the first time in my life, I put 1 and 1 together and developed a fantasy route where I realistically believed that I could pay for a semester myself, out of pocket.

I thought, "I can totally do it! No loans, school goes on. Win win!"

Low and behold, fantasy clashed with reality and, no surprise, I was not able to pay for a semester by my economically naive lonesome. Who'd a thunk?

With no safety net or bail out, the college froze my records. And as I worked to save up enough to pay the debt off so I could resume my education, the debt was then sold to a collection agency who literally doubled it. Then as a delectable cherry on top started adding about $100 with every few months it hadn't been paid.

Three years later, I had pretty much resolved that my plans with school were a thing of the past. That I had, like thousands of other not flippin' rich Americans, been "weeded out" and pushed out of the rungs of higher education. Not due to being a poor student - but due to $$$.

I felt picked on and infuriated for a bit there. Peeved to all hell and back that I had been a serious, hoop-jumping 4.0 student and, just because of what was first $1000 and then double that (making it even more impossible!), an insurmountable wall had been erected, barring me from fulfilling my potential as a contributor to the community around me (not to imply that you can't fulfill your potential outside of school, or contribute - but, you get my gist).

Jerks.

But, alas, the day has finally come - approximately two hours ago. See, some time ago my kick ass brother went and landed himself a fancy schmancy job. After giving himself some time to nestle in and get cozy with it, he sprouted green wings and descended from the economic heavens to BAIL ME OUT.

An economic safety net? A 2nd chance? Wha!?

It's not even entirely real yet and I have no idea how to even thank him. First, I'd never anticipated that being economically bailed out or safety netted out of anything would be something I'd experience in my life time and second, I'm resuming school!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about lucky and grateful to all indescribable hell.

Thank you brother.

I'm so excited and feel so chipper and full o' future plannin' n' dreamin' that I chopped all my shaggy hair off with my Christmas clippers, dug out some dapper dan, and made myself a pomphawk thingabop. This way I can dazzle and flaunt my good mood. Taken with my creeper camera phone:

School! Smack down! Ruckus! Boo-ya! All ya'll!