Mutual Agreement

I think I've finally snapped out of my funk. For about 6 months I've been feeling really overwhelmed and hopeless. Then my brain and I had a very serious discussion.

It went something like this: "You know what, noggin? I'm sorry that I've let you sink so low. I know that once you're down, it's hard to drag you back up again. How about this? If I promise to get enough sleep, to get up early, work out every morning, and eat better, will you return the favor by keeping my mood more stable and energy levels high?", to which my brain replied, "Yes, please! I'm tired of this funk! It's all over the place and, with your help, we can get this mess mopped up. I just need you to provide the tools I need to clean it up."

And, with that epic discussion, we came to a mutual agreement, my brain and I.

One concern that contributed to the onslaught of funkiness had much to do with losing my health insurance, which has really stressed me out. But, you know what? Health care WILL get better. I will, eventually, have affordable access to it again. Maybe, if I'm lucky, there will be a public option one day. A lot of us want equal access to health care and have a right to it. The battle is being waged between basic rights and the interests of privately-owned insurance companies, which will hopefully result in the public's favor. It's at least in the domain of public debate right now.

On top of that, things are getting better for transgender people, also. A friend of mine sent me this article from the National Center for Transgender Equality posted yesterday in regards to a tremendous transgender stepping stone:

In a closely-watched case, the United States Tax Court overwhelmingly ruled on Tuesday in O'Donnabhain v. Commissioner of Internal Revenue that a transgender woman's medical expenses for hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery were medically necessary and therefore tax-deductible under Federal law. After considering extensive medical evidence and testimony from leading medical experts, the court rejected an interpretation of the law that would consider transgender people's medical treatment different than all other medically necessary treatment recommended by major medical and psychological organizations.

Boo ya! Now THAT'S good news.

With the changes I've experienced from hormone therapy, I've had some interesting and unprecedented social experiences. I applied to a job recently without specifying my gender. The three individuals who interviewed me all read me as male. We talked tech geekiness all seemed to be going well.

And then the interesting kicked in real fast. The three references I cited - one being an ex- project manager, another being an ex-boss, and another being the director of a place I've been volunteering at for some time ended up referring to me in different pronouns (feminine and masculine). I knew that two of the three would for sure refer to me in masculine pronouns, but that the third (my ex-boss) is a bit clueless and was the most likely to refer to me in feminine pronouns.

I heard from my ex-project manager that when the interviewer called her he sounded enthusiastic about me, but confused about my gender. She relayed that she had referred to me in masculine pronouns. This had confused the interviewer by the time he'd called her, but as she continued to use masculine pronouns, so did he.

I hadn't anticipated this sort of thing happening or being an issue. I'm sure that they also contacted other ex-bosses from my resume from past work experience that have no idea I've transitioned or prefer masculine pronouns in certain contexts (e.g. work) now.

Despite the confusion, they contacted me, referred to me in masculine pronouns, and offered me the job.

I declined because they switched locations on me to somewhere out yonder that I wouldn't be able to bicycle to. Yet, it was a really relieving experience to have the job offer, especially after the whole gender confusion fiasco.


  1. *random MtF from SLC stumbles into blog*

    Ohai! I just wanted to say congrats on the job offer, even if you didn't take it.

    I hope that at the very least, it got the interviewer thinking. In this age, knowing we exist and are normal goes a long way towards enlightening minds, and towards a lot of the recent progress that's begun. =)

  2. Man I feel like I fell under a rock and stayed there, I've been horrible at keeping up with your blog. But I'm glad you and your brain have come to agreement. I find that every once in a while you have to talks with it to renegotiate how to go forward.

  3. That is the cutest conversation that you had with your noggin that I have ever heard of.


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