Mutual Agreement

I think that I've finally, at last, officially snapped out of my funk. For about half a year now I've let feeling overwhelmed and thoughts of hopeless consume me. Then my brain and I had a very serious discussion.

It went something like this: "You know what, noggin? I'm sorry that I've let you sink so low. I know that once you're down, it's hard to drag you back up again. How about this? If I promise to get enough sleep, to get up early, work out every morning, and eat better, will you return the favor by keeping my mood more stable and energy levels high?", to which my brain replied, "Yes, please! I'm tired of this funk! It's all over the place and, with your help, we can get this mess mopped up and move on to shinier, cleaner places! I just need you to provide the tools I need to clean it up!"

And, with that epic discussion, we came to a mutual agreement, my brain and I. Which means that I have some blogging to do!

One concern that contributed to the onslaught of funkiness had much to do with losing my insurance and feeling incredibly anxious and hopeless in regards to health care. But, you know what? Health care WILL get better. I will, eventually, have affordable access to it again. Maybe, if I'm lucky, there will be a public option. A lot of us want it and have a right to it; and the battle is being waged between basic rights and the interests of privately-owned insurance companies, which will inevitably lead to progress. It's at least a debate right now, whereas it's been essentially unquestioned publicly before.

On top of that, things are getting better for transgender people on that front, also. A friend of mine sent me this article from the National Center for Transgender Equality posted yesterday in regards to a pretty spiffy n' tremendous tranny stepping stone:

In a closely-watched case, the United States Tax Court overwhelmingly ruled on Tuesday in O'Donnabhain v. Commissioner of Internal Revenue that a transgender woman's medical expenses for hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery were medically necessary and therefore tax-deductible under Federal law. After considering extensive medical evidence and testimony from leading medical experts, the court rejected an interpretation of the law that would consider transgender people's medical treatment different than all other medically necessary treatment recommended by major medical and psychological organizations.

Boo ya! Now THAT'S good news.

In transition land, I experienced an interesting scenario not too long ago in regards to a job application/interview process. I applied to this job without specifying my gender. The three fellers who interviewed me all read me as male. We talked tech geekiness and bonded and my charm and wit wowzed them all (naturally).

And then the interesting kicked in real fast. The three references I cited - one being an ex project manager, another being an ex-boss, and another being the director of a place I've been volunteering at for some time ended up referring to me in different pronouns (feminine and masculine). I knew that 2 of the 3 would for sure refer to me in masculine pronouns, but that the 3rd (my ex-boss) is a bit of a clueless dope and was very likely to refer to me in feminine pronouns - not out of ignorance or maliciousness, but just out of habit. Probably something like, "Oh, she was the bes--er, he, I meant-- was the best employee I've ever had!"

And, alas, I heard from my ex-project manager that when the interviewer called her he sounded enthusiastic about me, but confused about my gender. She relayed that she had referred to me in masculine pronouns, but that my ex-boss had definitely referred to me in mixed feminine/masculine pronouns. This had clearly (and understandably) confused the interviewer by the time he'd called her, but as she continued to use masculine pronouns, so did he.

I hadn't thought of the pronoun shindig really; how it would manifest in a reference-process. I'm sure that they also contacted other ex-bosses from my resume from past work experience that have no idea I've transitioned or prefer masculine pronouns now.

Yet, despite the confusion and possible awareness that I'm trans, they contacted me, referred to me in masculine pronouns, and offered me the job.

I declined because they switched locations on me to somewhere out in the middle of nowhere that wouldn't work for me. Yet, it was a really relieving experience to have these guys who trans people are likely very foreign and mysterious to offer me a job. In Utah, of all places. It was a campus, which ups the liberalism quite a bit, but still refreshing.