The gym, zinc oxide, & THE WOLFMAN

My parents are gym-going rock stars this week. They both joined me at 8am three mornings in a row. Last Tuesday morning, the manager was there. The manager who, for months now, I've been trying to get up the nerve to speak with. Just enough to express to him that with the changes I'll be experiencing from hormone therapy it's going to become increasingly difficult to use the women's locker room. Yet, I'm not prepared to walk into the men's locker room. I primarily want to relay to him that he has gender non-conforming customers who have a very difficult time navigating the gym, and if there's possibly an extra bathroom somewhere. Or a unisex stall, at least.

I'm trying to get up the nerve. In the meantime, I have been walking in to the men's locker room with my dad in the morning. But I've only traveled far enough to get to the sinks and the bathroom stalls. The first time we entered together, I was terrified. My heart was literally racing and my palms were sweaty. Mostly because I've been going to this gym for years, and I was worried that someone would recognize me and make an issue of it.

The second time was a little better. And by the third time I felt calm. And eventually, when I feel ready, I'll walk past the bathroom stalls and into the locker area. And maybe without my father.

On Tuesday morning, however, the manager did speak with my mom about how he hasn't seen us in a while. She explained that she's been sick, but then motioned toward me and said, "... but he has been a pest about getting me to come back."

The manager looked confused, knowing me as "she" for about two years now. After a brief pause he replied, "Well good! I'm glad to see you two back here!"

My mom outed me to him in a way that felt comfortable and natural. It's no big deal, not an issue.

Hormone Therapy Changes Update

I've been on hormone therapy for 14 months now. My legs, thighs, and bum are smaller and more muscular than they've ever been. The rest of me is becoming harder and more muscly while my stomach remains a consistent degree of rotund and harrier than it was prior to hormone therapy. I'm feeling stable mood-wise and my skin feels significantly rougher than it ever has, especially on my face. I've developed multiple small red bumps on my upper arms, which almost look like rashes of some sort. These may just acne or, not sure what. They don't itch or bother me.

With the hormones raging and my skin texture changing so dramatically, even after using a moisturizer my skin still feels dry and flaky. I also have acne in places I've never experienced it before, in ways that are nasty and brutal and angry (instead of just black heads or white heads, now they're forming into papules and postules). Primarily under my jaw line, and even on my upper back.

Given this unprecedented emergence of acne,  I found acne.org. I've decided to try out the regime on there, see if it works.


p.s. on a non-trans-related note, The Wolfman comes out this Friday! So excited! If you've ever seen An American Werewolf In London, the makeup artist from that film, Rick Baker, did the makeup for The Wolfman. I'm obsessed with werewolves. So obsessed that my favorite blog ever is Werewolf News. Adding Rick Baker to the mix just, ... irresistable.

1 comment:

  1. It sounds like we're on a similar timeline, albeit going in opposite directions. =P

    I've been having a tough time getting up the guts just to use the women's bathroom, let alone anything like a locker room (*shudders*), so I applaud your efforts. It's funny that something so fundamental and simple can also be so sacrosanct, yet it's easily been the most terrifying aspect of my transition.

    Also, your mom rocks socks. That is all. =)

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