Tom, Your Neighborhood Citizen Lobbyist

Oh I feel mushy. I haven't been to the gym in about 2 weeks now due to the locker room discomfort fiasco. Since no longer using the womens locker room I've been in a state of gym limbo, where I developed a temporarily satisfactory go-to-gym-IN-gym-outfit plan. But, that plan requires either good weather or a gym buddy.

In good weather, I can just scoot or bicycle down IN my nifty gym outfit. In bad weather, I have to dress all warm or winter bicycling special, so having somewhere to change becomes important - or at the least having somewhere to put my stuff. And that's when a gym buddy comes in handy and takes my crap into a locker room for me.

So, alas, it has become a huge crippling inconvenience not using a locker room. I don't feel "right", comfortable, or even safe in either one. In the womens I was becoming more and more of an apparent "threat".

I have walked into the mens locker room twice now - once with my dad - and only made it as far as the restroom and back out with my heart thudding in my chest.

NOT having a locker room to go to at the gym - or somewhere to safely change there - is a big pickle.

I keep meaning to bring myself to get the manager's attention and talk to him privately about my situation and if they have a restroom somewhere I could use to change, but every time I get close to doing so, he's either darting around looking busy or surrounded by other employees. I haven't gotten up the nerve yet, which is surprising to me.

On one level, it's important to me to be an open and out trans person. To demystify the whole shindig a bit and also help make situations like this more accommodating and safe for other trans folk. I also have the right like any other gym-goer to have access to a safe locker room (like how I no longer use the womens because the vast majority were feeling unsafe and had a lot of issues with my being in there), and I'm pretty sure that he would react well. And, if he didn't, I could throw a polite stink about it.

BUT, since I haven't been able to talk to him yet, I've been making preparations to work out from home. Which, despite being a more lonesome work out endeavor, is actually pretty enticing to me.

I got this work-out-from-home-plan P90X shindig from all the ranting and raving about it in an online FTM community I'm a member of and, once I get some dumbbells, will go all out with it. I'll see AMAZING results, just like this guy!

It will actually be good for me. I just have absolutely no idea about what work outs can even be done for home, so any amount of direction will help. I already have a little pull-up bar, some resistance bands, AND I will definitely work out in nothing but my underwear to entirely celebrate a perk of working out from home.

Then instead of being dependent on the gym I will depend day-to-day on working out from home where I feel comfortable and safe, then go to the gym when a friend or parent goes. And, eventually, talk to the manager.

Boo-ya! Flawless!

Earlier tonight I went to Equality Utah's Citizen Lobbyist training up at the Capital. It was a pain to find since my friend and I had absolutely no idea where the auditorium was located (we were wandering around in the wrong building for about 10 minutes - and bumped into three other people who were also lost). We had bicycled up and, whatdoyaknow, entered through the front entrance. Right smack into some privately reserved wedding reception.

Eventually and after many round-a-bout circles we found an open door that led to a hallway that led to a cracked door with the lights open. I knocked and a guy inside said, "Come in." Boom! Some poor lone senator who happened to be working late's office. I asked, "Oh, I apologize sir, but do you know where the auditorium is?", "You're in the wrong building!". Brief instructions ensued and, about 10 minutes later and gaining access to "employee-only" entrances from buzzing in and whining that we were trying to find the auditorium finally found it.

I suspect that people driving cars went a different route and through a different entrance.

Whining aside, all the strenuous hunting paid off. Like the magical logic of demystifying trannies, 90% of the training focused on demystifying our representatives and lobbying. A lot of reminders that "They're just people. Farmers. Single moms. Business owners. Don't be intimidated!", and pounding in that friendly e-mailing, letter writing and meeting face-to-face to share how certain bills or issues personally affect you are frequently brought up by the representatives as real-life examples on the floor and peer-to-peer.

It was encouraging and insightful.

On a side note, earlier today when I called about changing my cell phone plan the guy on the other end read my voice as male. For a little over two months now I've noticed that when speaking to strangers the whole gender thing has been avoided until they pull up account information with the name "Melanie", then it's "Miss" galore. BUT today, despite pulling up my account number, it was "Sir" and "Mister".

Speaking of phone-related situations, a few weeks ago my brother and I went to one of my phone provider's offices to get some bidness done. They had a system there where you enter, input your name in to a little computer, then a monitor displays the line order, and I was 2nd in line.

So my name comes up and a large male employee goes, "Mel Thomas, you're up!". My brother walks up with me and the whole time this employee is calling me "Boss", "Sir", "Dude". Masculine language galore. He gets my account information then, immediately, his brow furrows and he asks, confused, "Who's Melanie?". Dun dun dun. And I reply, "Oh, that's me. Weird name, I know." ... I had no idea how he read the situation, but he eased up and replied, "Yeah, definitely. So what can I do for you today boss?", and the masculine pronouns continued. So, despite my feminine name, I was still read as male. Just a male with sick-humored parents who was likely picked on a lot in school. Not too far from the truth. Woot!

Plus, when using my debit card 9 times out of 10 the person using it thinks that my last name, Thomas, is my first name. So I'm getting "Tom" a whole lot. Which works, I suppose. Why not.