Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints.

You can’t talk about solving the economic problem of the Negro without talking about billions of dollars. You can’t talk about ending the slums without first saying profit must be taken out of slums… Now this means that we are treading in difficult water, because it really means that we are saying that something is wrong…with capitalism… There must be a better distribution of wealth and maybe America must move toward a Democratic Socialism.

— Martin Luther King, Jr., 1966

… trying to figure out how I can pay for the required texts. Even with the privilege of not worrying about food or shelter, living with my parents, it is still a daunting challenge. Most semesters I’ve been able to find ways to work it out and some semesters I couldn’t. The semesters where I literally couldn’t afford my books made it very difficult to keep up and do well in class.

I use a variety of strategies to figure out this book shindig, including checking out older editions from a the library, renting, finding used books or even online versions of old, outdated editions. This semester I’ve dug and clawed and whimpered and journeyed far to find any way I could possibly get out of spending at least $600. And alas - it ain’t happin’n.

Situations like this really make it difficult to ignore how I feel about the way academia operates in the United States. Students work harder and take on more debt to get degrees whose value is open to question. Meanwhile, colleges are the pawns of corporate interests who price gouge a captive student body. You are “free”. Free to buy this text, at this price, with this online code which expires after this semester. The same information is, of course, readily available from hundreds or thousands of inexpensive sources. But, for some reason your class must use this incredibly expensive source with all lower cost options made as inaccessible as possible. Really? Seriously?

In other industrialised countries, they have awesome student unions and progressive governments who consider higher education a universal right. It is not a privilege reserved only for those who can afford it. In the U.S. the cost of college rises at an annual rate 2.3% faster than the rate of inflation (DSA). Whoa.

The whole thing feels like a game of Wipe Out. It all begins with a whole bundle of enthusiastic, bright eyed and bushy tailed contestants (i.e. freshman who are all excited about learning). Round after round contestants are weeded out. Inevitably, every one gets whacked with massive rubber balls or have to swim through mud. They myth is that only the “best and brightest” make through it to the end. But, even the cream of the crop end up like veterans of a brutal war left paralysed with injuries and PTSD. Left behind are the majority, the “failures,” left with damaged self-esteem and bitter resentment towards education.

The result is a population where the majority seriously believe the Earth was created in a puff of magic and is only a few thousand years old.

Read More

… pondering deeply about such things like what position I’d prefer to be in if I ended up in The Human Centipede, when I will go buy more wet food for Evilbunny (my cat) and a bleach pen for the white Hanes© shirts I wear every day, getting mula for school books, and whatnot - eventually the realisation of how seriously lucky I am in the tranny department comes creeping in.

Prior to starting hormone therapy a few years ago, I had literally resolved to stop dating. Zilch, done, ~fin~. It was just, too painful and triggering. Every attempt was an incredibly potent reminder of how I was trapped in a body that felt disconnected and uncomfortable. It wasn’t worth crying every single time and spiralling into weeks of hopelessness. Without intimacy, I could bind and never look at myself in the nude. Easy peasy. Solution foreva!

But, the idea of hormones sounded almost as awful. Losing my androgyny and looking like a boring ol’ greasy cisgender dude? Eff no. Heading down a path that insurance companies and numerous doctors explicitly exclude? Uh, no. Increasing my testosterone levels that are associated with shaving years off one’s life, increasing cancer risk, liver damage, increased cholesterol, acne, etc.? No, no, and no.

Read More